The Most Pointless Cryptocurrency Tokens Ever Invented
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The Most Pointless Cryptocurrency Tokens Ever Invented

THELOGICALINDIAN - Just as Satoshis eyes wasnt 1000 bitcoin forks the eyes of ethereum architect Vitalik Buterin wasnt to decentralize the parenting industry This year an barrage of antic ERC20 tokens accept been issued that booty vaporware to the abutting akin From bananas on the blockchain to acute contractbased tombstones these are the best absurd cryptocurrency tokens anytime issued

Also read: The World’s Worst Named Cryptocurrencies

Yo Dawg I Heard You Like Tokens

The Most Pointless Cryptocurrency Tokens Ever InventedICO Alert is a goldmine of antic token-based projects, and by “goldmine” apprehend “excruciating able-bodied of despair”. There aren’t abundant facepalms to accommodate all of the inane and batty tokenized offerings to be begin on its pages. To save you from coast bottomward that aerial aperture never to return, we’ve done the bedraggled assignment for you and angled up a baby alternative from Token Hell.

Speaking of bedraggled work, the aboriginal access on our account is Bedraggled Coin, a “fast and alert way to pleasure”. Its white cardboard (oh yes, it has a white paper) begins, after a trace of irony:

As an antitoxin to all that filth, accept Prayer Token, “sent to god and stored on the blockchain”. It’s an ERC23 badge that’s backed by absolute prayer. “I don’t apperceive if adoration works, but if it does, again you’re accepting abundant added amount out of a Adoration Badge than about every added badge in existence,” its architect implores. “This is not a joke, scam, or grift. I will adjure for you as candidly and aboveboard as possible. Most added tokens on the bazaar aloof appetite your money – I appetite to save your soul!”

The Most Pointless Cryptocurrency Tokens Ever Invented

Tokenize All The Things

Imigize is the “first online 3D shoe applicable account in the world”, a affirmation which comes as a complete surprise. In comparison, Useless Ethereum Badge looks absolutely useful. It’s “a accepted ERC20 token, so you can authority it and alteration it. Other than that… nothing. Absolutely nothing.” That didn’t stop UET from adopting $40,000 in its ICO.

Operating beneath the byword “Someone’s Debris is Someone’s Treasure!” comes Trash Cash. It’s “the ultimate cryptocurrency to barter all the debris dumped in your wallet into a distinct badge which can be traded in exchanges…now you can accumulate all the debris in one place”.

The Most Pointless Cryptocurrency Tokens Ever InventedThen we accept Beach Coin, a badge for acclimation aerial affection sand. Funds will be acclimated to advance a beach quarry abreast Moscow. There’s additionally Milk Coin, addition Russian badge advised to accession funds for a milk assembly complex. Dentacoin is the world’s aboriginal blockchain activity for the dentistry industry, Kevin (KVT) is “an avant-garde online cyberbanking service” and Cooocoin (count those o’s) is so bad it unironically uses banana sans on its website.

Maxitube is a robotized carriage arrangement for appurtenances delivery. Apparently an “electric locomotive” will bear appurtenances to your address. Dopameme is a chilly decentralized website area you’re adored for announcement memes and The Memessenger is “the world’s aboriginal no-bullshit agent with memes instead of words”. Sometimes there absolutely are no words.

The Most Pointless Cryptocurrency Tokens Ever Invented

Choking On Tokens and Drowning in Decentralization

Satoshi Brewery is arising a badge to set up the better bounded ability brewery in north-west Russia and Florio is “the aboriginal blockchain based bloom belvedere that absolutely enables everybody to alive healthy”, although how is never fabricated clear. Exotown, meanwhile, is a bastard ancestry affairs that specializes in careful ancestry of pet reptiles and extenuative endangered species. Proof that the ICO bold absolutely is abounding of snakes.

Rexpax lets you “lend, borrow and allotment items with your neighbors”, but at the aftermost analysis had awash aloof 220,000 of its 190 actor Rexx tokens. More like Rekt, amirite? Without a blockchain-based lending service, how’s anyone meant to borrow a cup of amoroso from their acquaintance now?

The Most Pointless Cryptocurrency Tokens Ever Invented

Family Points is a badge advised “to agitate the parenting industry in adjustment to accomplish it safer, added convenient, and added cellophane for anybody involved. The Family Points belvedere will accomplish parenting cheaper.”

“Disrupt the parenting industry”?

The Most Pointless Cryptocurrency Tokens Ever Invented

Finally, we accept Tombcare:

Uber for tombstones? That complete you aloof heard was your ancestors axis in their graves.

Most of the above ICOs are still running, incidentally, so if you abhorrence money, you should apparently advance in them.

And that’s abundant internet for today.

What’s the affliction token-based activity you’ve heard of? Let us apperceive in the comments area below.

Images address of Shutterstock.

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